


The Man They See Anyway

by MellMellMell



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Redemption, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-07 05:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellMellMell/pseuds/MellMellMell
Summary: After the breakdown of his relationship with Aaron, Robert decides to become the man they all see anyway.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So it's been awhile, and I have many fican lying here unfinished, but I can't get this out my head so I'm gonna give it ago. 
> 
> Set after Aaron comes out of prison. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think. 
> 
> Big thanks to @Hannahfanficrobron for giving it a once over :)

"Get out". 

"Aaron-"

"Get. Out. Now." Aaron could feel the anger boiling in him, like the night he hit Kasim. And as much as punching Roberts face in would be more cathartic than he'd like to admit, he would never forgive himself if he did. Which was Robert had leave. "NOW ROBERT". 

"Aaron please, you said we'd talk when you got out, well you're out so let's talk!" begged Robert. 

"What? Talk about why you SLEPT with Rebecca! Why you- you made love to her in our bed!"

"Nothing about it was about love!"

"Is that supposed to make it better?", scoffed Aaron, it was as if Robert couldn't hear himself when he spoke. But that was always his trouble, speaking and acting before engaging his brain. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you threw away our relationship, our VOWS, for some meaningless fling!" 

"Aaron," started Robert, unable to find the right words quick enough before Aaron interrupted again, "it was a mistake, I just- I thought you were leaving me!"

"And so you though, 'yes now I can finally have Rebeca without any guilt over Aaron!'"

"Do I look like I don't have any guilt!"

No, thought Aaron, in this moment Robert had never looked more guilty. Broken. That was how Robert looked. But it didn't matter. 

"Aaron, I hate myself for this". 

"You should". 

The quiet crept in then. Surrounding them, engulfing them. Weighing heavily on their backs. It was make or break, they both knew it. It made the silence seem almost loud. 

Like it was beating. 

Pounding. 

Punctuated by only their breathing, every breath like gong signalling that the end was getting closer. 

Robert couldn't bring himself to say anymore. He knew every moment Aaron allowed him in his presence was a gift. He was terrified that if he spoke it was spur Aaron to tell him to leave quicker. 

He thought that when Aaron finally did speak it would be a relief. That whatever came out his mouth Robert could take and mold until it was something he could work with, something he could build on to make Aaron his again. 

He was wrong. 

"He was right you know Robert, your dad, you are nothing. You are a disappointment to everyone and I hate you. So get out of my house, out of my life and stay the hell away from Liv". 

It felt like being shot. 

In fact, it felt worse. 

He had nothing to say, no answer, no comeback. 

It was everything he thought, and everything he knew and now Aaron, his Aaron, could see it too. And it hurt like hell. 

So as he turned and walked out the back door of the pub he made a promise. To himself. To Aaron. To Jack flaming Sugden. 

If that's the Robert the want to see, then that's the Robert they will get.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv demands to know why Robert isn't picking up her calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter takes place two weeks on and Robert isn't actually in it. It is more of a 'scene setter' in terms of showing different characters stances.

"Aaron!"

As Liv rounded the bar he knew he was in trouble. It had been two weeks since he'd last spoken to Robert. Two weeks since he's kicked him out, and it felt like two years. Especially since Liv went on and on about it every chance she'd got. 

"Have you spoken to him yet?", her tone was fierce, the way it had been constantly since Robert had left. 

When she had stormed down the stairs, demanding to know why Robert wasn't picking up his phone, Aaron had explained. When she had taken Robert side, he had even told her about Rebecca. She had been angry, but he had been shocked when she was also angry at him. He still couldn't believe she had taken Roberts side. 

"No Liv, I haven't, and I won't," he answered dismissively, not even looking her way, he focused on drinking his pint and making his hands stop shaking. 

"Well he's still not answering my calls",

"Then maybe that you answer Liv eh?", he knew he was snappy, and he didn't mean it, not really. 

"But you weren't here Aaron, I **know** he cares". 

It hurt more than he'd like to admit that Liv hadn't just followed him into anger and bitterness. He didn't know everything about what had gone on between the two of them while he was inside, frankly it just hurt to much to ask. But then it hurt to know that Liv cared for Robert. It hurt to know that Robert must have proven he cared to her. 

It just hurt. 

Everything hurt. 

"Vic", shouted Liv, and that did make Aaron look up. They had formed an uneasy truce. Victoria unable to defend Robert, but also unable to hate him because she loved him. Like he did. But now was not the time to dwell on that. "Is Robert at yours? He's not answering my calls and I just want to talk to him".

"No Liv he's not", Aaron could feel her watching him as she answered, though she was trying to be sneaky about it, "he isn't staying with us."

"Why?!", shouted Liv, she was close to making a scene no one wanted. 

"We kicked him out," chimed in Adam, arriving almost unnoticed beside Aaron.

"No you kicked him out," Vic shot in, it being obvious that this was a sore issue for the pair of him. 

"You kicked him out!", shouted Liv so loudly it made Aaron glad it was two in the afternoon and the only other people in the pub were Harriet and Emma. 

"Liv calm down", growled Aaron. He had tried to be calm with her, but when she went on about Robert every time they spoke his patience was wearing thin. 

"No Aaron! He'll have no where to go!"

"He always lands on his feet, I wouldn't worry about that one", chimed in Adam, the distaste clear in his voice. 

"That one? That one? That's your brother in law, he's your family! He's our family!"

"No, he isn't Liv", replied Aaron. 

"Yes he is! You promised! You said we were family, and we always would be! Why does it have to different now!"

"Because he cheated Liv", shouted Aaron, finally losing the little patience he had left. Breaking up with Robert had taken so much from him, and Liv seemed hell bent on taking the rest. 

"And I got expelled from school! You beat someone up and get sent to prison! You did drugs! But why are we so much better than him? Why do we get to forgive each other and leave Robert out in the cold! Why can't I still see him, even if you won't!"

"Because I said so Liv, alright!" He regretted the words then moment he said them. Liv was clever. To clever. She had instantly figured out what Aaron was really saying. 

"Why isn't Robert answering my calls?" demanded Liv, "Why Aaron?"

"Because I told him to stay away from you!"

"Why?" she was close to tears, they could all see it and she hated it. The crack in her voice made her feel weak, but this was too important. Robert was to important. 

"Because he's .. bad news Liv okay, he isn't good enough to know you!" His tone was comforting, but that didn't matter, his words awful and she hated him for it. 

"Well funny that, because right now its you I don't wanna know". 

And with that she did leave.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert wakes up in a random bedroom, and try's to figure out just who he was with the night before. Not that it matters, because he knows it wasn't Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a technical issue which I sorted in this chapter, where it cut off half way through. So to clarify he did not sleep with Liv and in anything I write never ever will! He is just thinking of her cause she calls! Had to clear that up!

The bed was empty. 

And for a second that made his heart fill with dread. Until he remembered that this wasn't his bed. Wasn't the home he'd built in the back room of the Woolpack. Wasn't Aaron that was missing from the other side. 

He didn't know who was missing. But his memory definitely was and he couldn't remember if he had went home with dark haired girl or the blonde haired guy. He hoped it was the guy, guys were always easier to leave. Girls always cling onto some hope of 'something more'. 

_**Beeeep, beeep** ___

__His phone was ringing, and he wasn't exactly sure where he had taken off his jacket. Though the hallway seemed appear in his mind._ _

__He put on his boxers, rather slowly, because he wasn't sure where his hangover ended and the drunkenness began. There had just been constant drinking and partying and sex since his marriage had ended. A different house every night since he'd been chucked out of Vic and Adams. He couldn't really blame Adam, though it did seem like an over-reaction. I mean hadn't Adam done the same thing with Vanessa, and for ages they thought he'd knocked her up. Hypocrite. Maybe he fancied Rebecca. Maybe he fancied Aaron. Maybe he was just a dick._ _

__After retrieving his boxers, and finding no clues in the room about who's house he had ended up at, he made his way into hallway. He could hear the shower running, and he was half tempted to just join whoever was in it. I mean you never know, if they are friendly enough it could be a bed for another night. Though he'd only stayed with one person twice in the past two weeks. And that's because they had worn Aaron's aftershave. He had cried when they had sex. He never saw them again._ _

__**Liv**. _ _

__He had laughed when she had put the princess emoji beside her name, saying he had never met anybody less like a princess in his whole life. She had immediately informed him that she was "the queen of the house, and what I say goes"._ _

__God he missed her._ _

__Sometimes he couldn't figure out who he missed more. Mostly it was Aaron. The way he felt. The way he spoke. They way he made him laugh. The way he moaned his name when they were together. Nobody said it quite like him. The breathless Rob, or the fierce Robert. Nobody else came close. But there were times. Stupid times, when he would be having lunch with some random girl before he left their place, and she would shout something from another room and for a split second the past few weeks was gone and Liv was shouting his name, and barging into his memories and cuddling into him on the couch to watch reruns of Doctor Who._ _

__But it was never Liv._ _

__It was some cheap date that he couldn't quite remember the name of and very rarely remembered the sex. And it always made him feel empty. And he always left._ _

__The sex._ _

__It was definitely the guy last night._ _

__And from what Robert remembered he was actually quite handsome. Less in an Aaron way, and more in a .. Robert way._ _

__What had his name been again? Didn't matter._ _

___**Beeeep, beeep** ___ _ _

____Oh right, Liv._ _ _ _

____**Rob, I wish you would just pick up your phone. Aaron told me what he did. And I hate him for it. Please come home. Or at least please let me know you're alive. Vic says she hasn't seen you in days and I'm worried. I know Aaron is too. Though he won't admit it. Please x.** _ _ _ _

____Ignoring Liv's calls was the second hardest thing he had to do of a day. The first was not running to Aaron and begging at his feet. But he couldn't. Not after what Aaron had said._ _ _ _

_"He was right, your dad"._

____He knew fine well he didn't deserve Aaron's forgiveness, but he wasn't sure could forgive Aaron either. Not for saying that._ _ _ _

____"Hey, just make your self at home why don't you", the voice made Robert whip round. And the sight was greeting with delighted him. Well as much as anything did at the moment._ _ _ _

____The guy._ _ _ _

____Though he still couldn't quite remember the name. He looked like a Chad._ _ _ _

____"Excuse me?"_ _ _ _

____"You, walking around in your boxers, it's no wonder we ended up in bed if you're that confident in the morning"._ _ _ _

____He laughed. Well he blew air through his noise but same thing._ _ _ _

I was just looking for my phone, it was ringing, my" _daughter_ "Never mind. Is there a bathroom in this place? Doesn't look like I saw very much of it last night" he flirts, pointing at the jacket on the floor. 

____"No," blushed the other guy, though he almost missed it, focusing too much on the water drops falling down the mans chest and underneath the towel wrapped at his waist, "there is a toilet in there. And a shower. If you wanna freshen up"._ _ _ _

____"No point", he said, stepping closer to .. Lucas, that's it, "not if you plan on getting sweaty again"._ _ _ _

____"Oh is that right", Robert could see he was affecting _Lucas_ , and maybe this time, since he was sober, the sex might just make him feel something. _ _ _ _

____He answered by pulling the towel from around the other mans waist, and licking the water from his nipple._ _ _ _

____"Let me pee, and then I'll join you"._ _ _ _

____Lucas just nodded and headed on down to the bedroom._ _ _ _

____And if the sex didn't make him feel anything, at least he'd have bed for another night._ _ _ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert finally turns up and has a chat with Vic.

The sex had been fine. 

Just fine. 

It hadn't done that wondrous thing he hoped it would do, and actually made him feel something. 

Then again he hadn't expected it to. 

As Robert climbed the steps to the Woolpack he couldn't decide if he was wishing Aaron was inside, or wither he was wishing he wasn't.

He hadn't seen Aaron since the break up, and part of him longed to see him. Just to see him would be enough. To look at him and know that he was okay. That he wasn't hurting himself. He really hoped he wasn't. He did know however that if he saw Aaron, it would make him feel something, and he wasn't quite sure he was ready for that kind of pain. 

"Robert!", exclaimed Victoria when she saw him, and before he could stop it, she had ran round the bar and bundled him into a hug. 

"Alright Vic, calm down," he laughed, leaning up against the bar and hoping she took the initiative to pour him a pint. 

She did. 

"Calm down? Robert no one has seen or heard from you in three days! Where have you been?!"

"Around", was all he answered, taking a sip from his pint and hoping she dropped the subject. 

"What does that even mean Rob?", she asked, "where are you staying?"

He knew what was coming if he told her. A look of disgust, followed by one of pity. 

"It's ... undecided of an evening", he answered, not making eye contact. 

It took her a second, and he was right. She looked at him with all the disgust you would expect from your brother having slept with a different person each night since his marriage broke up. And then the pity. Pity that he wasn't quite able to break the habit of a lifetime and keep it in his pants. 

"You mean you're _sleeping around_? Did your marriage vows actually mean that little!"

"My marriage vows were everything Vic!", snapped Robert, "but they are gone now, broken anyway, so what's the point".

"The point? Prove to Aaron you love him", begged Victoria. 

"It wouldn't make any difference, it's over, and I've accepted it, and so should you".

It was a lie. The biggest lie. He hadn't accepted, not to the point where he could get over it and move on. But what was the point of explaining that to his little sister. His little sister who was kind and sweet and naive. Who had married the farm boy from down the road, and was trying for a baby now. His little sister who hadn't seen the world like he had. Hadn't been broken, and scarred and embarrassed and hurt like he had. She would never understand. 

"Why don't you stay with me tonight eh?", asked Victoria. 

"I'm not sure Adam would be too happy", scoffed Robert in reply. 

Fucking Adam. 

"He can get over it for one night", answered Victoria, "or two? Until you get back on your feet? Find a flat?"

"Can't afford it". 

"Robert you got two massive payouts from your marriage to Chrissie. Plus you have a stake in two successful businesses. How can you possibly not afford somewhere to live?", snapped Victoria, clearly at the end of her patience. He couldn't blame her, not really, but she was irritating him none the less. 

"Because I can't alright!" 

"Maybe if you weren't out drinking your money away every night on the pull you would!"

"It wouldn't make any difference Vic! I paid for the renovations to the Mill, and I'm still paying for Liv's tutor. Both of which are more expensive than you would think! So leave it alright!" 

"You're still paying for Liv's tutor?", he could hear it, the hope in her voice. The soft, quiet hope that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as bad as everybody made out. 

"Yes", was all he could say. 

"Rob-", 

"Don't, alright", he couldn't take it. Liv. Aaron. The thought of them, **his** family, living their lives, hating him, was more than he could bare, "I don't wanna talk about it". 

It was at that moment the world stopped, and Aaron came into the pub. 

Robert could feel the way his heart hammered, and stopped all at the same time. He could hear his pulse in his ears. And as Aaron met his eye and then turn away he felt his heart shatter all over again. 

Then the anger kicked in. 

The anger at Aaron's ability to walk away from him so easily. As if they had been nothing. As if he was nothing. 

The anger that Aaron could shove his dad's words back in his face so callously. Knowing just how Robert felt about him. 

The anger that made him want to hurt Aaron. And by default himself. 

So he did. 

"And anyway Vic", he started, half watching Aaron at the other side of the bar, "I have a date". 

"A date?", she copied, clearly dumbfounded. 

"Yeah, a date", he didn't have a date. 

"From what you said you haven't exactly been 'dating'?"

"Well, I just haven't got round to tell you about..." he had to think fast, "...him". He saw Aaron flinch out the corner of his eye, and it made him feel powerful and broken all at the same time, "yeah we met a few times in a bar and y'know and now we've got a date. Dinner, cinema, usual". 

"What's his name?" He loved her, he really did. 

After everything she was still trying to be supportive, even though he could see the struggle in her eyes. The rational part of his brain knew that it was because of Aaron, because she knew he still loved him, and knew he was just trying to hurt him. The irrational part of his brain couldn't help but reply the memory of his dad beating him when he found him with that lad. He was projecting, he knew it, but that didn't mean he could stop it. 

"Lucas. And I better go, we're meeting in an hour". 

And with that he turned and walked out the pub, pulling out his phone and brining Lucas's number up. 

When Lucas had put it in his phone that morning, he had had no intention of calling again. But well, the situation could be worse. Reasonable sex and a bed for another night. So he'd just call. 

But he'd just wait until he didn't feel like crying anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

_It was hard_. 

Sleeping was hard. 

Being awake was hard. 

Life was hard. 

Had been since the morning he woke up, Rebecca gone but her smell everywhere. In his room, in his bed, in his hair. It still made him feel ill. 

Life had continued on much the same. Drink, sex, meaningless flings that just reminded him of what he had done. 

He hates it. Hates himself more. 

This weekend was the first repreave from that lifestyle since his marriage ended a month ago. A month and a half to be exact. 

**39 long days**. 

It never got easier. 

When Vic had called him and told him that her and Adam were going to Edinburgh for a long weekend, and that he was welcome to stay at theirs while they were gone, he had jumped at the chance. 

Now he was here he wasn't sure how good an idea it was. He had only spent a handful of nights in the village over the past while. Four with Diane, who had begged him to stay more but he couldn't bare it. Liv in and out with Gabby, Bernice constantly asking questions, Diane looking disappointed, it was all too much. And one, surprisingly at Pearls. She had found him drunk and crying at the park, and had forced him into sleeping on her couch. Had even made him breakfast the next morning. It still made him emotional, how motherly she had been. He had thanked her and left, and then cried about that later as well. 

He felt like all he had done was cry in the past 39 days. He had definitely cried more than he had the rest of his life combined. 

And this house was not helping. 

Nearly every memory had had in it involved Aaron somehow.

The happy ones. The double dates with Vic and Adam, getting ready all together before heading out, or the nights in with takeaways, FIFA and a crappy movie. Either involved laughter, kissing and grabbing hands, Robert feeling more in love then than he ever had before. There were family dinners, where Vic would cook, and he was would bring wine and Adam, Aaron and Liv would hide outside until it was all served. 

And the bad ones. The nights after he had been shot, when he couldn't sleep and all he wanted was to know if Aaron really had shot him. He had never really believed it, that wasn't Aaron. He would have beat him up, yes. But premeditated murder? Never. Vic would sit with him, guide him out of the nightmares and talk until he was asleep again. There was the day Andy found out about his affair, and that Katie had been right all along. There was the day he found out what happened to Katie. 

Everything that had happened here, had Aaron someone, and it was crippling him. 

He tried to watch the tv, tried to eat dinner, tried to relax. 

Eventually he found himself, on the floor in his old box room, surrounded by empty beer bottles, crying again. 

At least this time he was somewhere that felt almost like home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are gonna start progressing a bit faster I think. I have so much of this written in my head, and it's killing me not writing interaction between the two boys. Unfortunately there is gonna be a bit more angst and hurt for the two of them before the finally comeback together. 
> 
> Sorry for this chapter. It's Robert very much trying to make Aaron jealous. It isn't my favourite thing I've ever written but I've had this scene in my head from the start and I had to have it in here.

"What is he doing?", whispered Chas, rather aggressively to Victoria, who had just approached the bar. 

"I don't know Chas", answered Victoria, looking back towards her brother in the top corner of the bar. There he sat, with a young, attractive brunette girl, draped all over them. It was clear where the night was going to end, or at least how it was going to end. Victoria still wasn't sure where he was staying most nights. 

"He always picks woman with class, doesn't he?", said Chas sarcastically, sending daggers up to the laughing pair. The girl was too drunk, or too stupid, thought Chas, to notice. She knew Robert would have though. 

"Part of me hopes that this is him moving on, and the other part of me knows it's just to make Aaron jealous", said Victoria, "I'm really worried about him Chas". 

Chas would never admit it, but so was she, and she knew Aaron was too. They didn't talk about it though, apart from Liv, nobody mentioned his name in their house. As she watched him, as she had been watching him, she could tell it was fake. His smile didn't reach his eyes, his laugh was strained and he was clearly only paying enough attention to know when to make some input into the conversation. As much as she hated it, as much as she hated him, she knew what he had had with Aaron was real. 

"He'll be fine, he always is". 

It was about twenty minutes later, and Chas knew the exact moment Aaron appeared behind the bar, because Roberts whole demeanour changed. He sat up straighter, turned towards the young girl more and paid deliberate attention to every word she was saying. Every word she seemed to be almost worshipping upon him. How did he do it?, thought Chas. 

"Pint mum", grunted Aaron, sitting so his back was towards Robert and who-ever. 

"You okay?", asked Chas, handing him the pint. 

"Fine". 

"Aaron?"

"Please don't make me talk about it mum". 

"Alright, okay", she watching him, knew he was trying to listen to their conversation, "why don't you go and sit with Adam and Vic?".

"Can't".

"Why?".

"Cause I'll be able to see them won't I!", he whispered, voice filled with venom. 

It was then that Robert got up, pulling the giggling girl behind him. To the outsider they would have looked every bit the loved up, lust filled couple. Roaming hands, smiling kissing and enough laughter to make them annoying. Aaron though could see this wasn't the case. Robert didn't act like that, not in public. He was sweeter, quieter, didn't need everyone to look at him, cause he didn't have anything to prove. A kiss to the temple, a hand to the thigh and one of their heads resting on the others shoulder. 

It was fake. 

Completely confirmed when Robert kissed her by the front door, his eyes locked with Aaron's. He couldn't look away, no matter how much it hurt. He could see the brokenness in his husbands, _his ex-husbands_ , eyes. And then the anger, the spite. 

It made him ache. 

It made him angry. 

Then it was broken, the eye contact, the bubble they had made even now. Broken by Liv bursting in the door. 

"Robert!", exclaimed Liv, whose face lit up and then darkened as she saw the girl hanging off his back, "just go". 

So he did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this has taken so long to come. I really am, if anyone is still interested please let me know!

It continued though. 

For four weeks. 

Every time someone new. 

There had only been one guy. The rest had been girls. And even though it had always the girls he had been paranoid of, it was the guy who hurt the most. As if being the one guy who had ever made Robert happy made everything they had been through special. And not just ruined. 

It was the fourth time, a blonde who reminded him too much of rebecca, that had forced him into the back room of the pub. The Mill would have been quieter, but as much as he hated him, Robert was still here, and he still wanted to know everything he was doing. Plus there was free booze on tap. 

"You know why right?", asked Liv as she barged through the door, a hurricane of noise and chaos and hormones, "you know why he keeps bringing these randoms here? It's to get your attention". 

"I don't wanna hear it Liv". 

"It's because he loves you!", shouted Liv. 

"Funny that? Cause I'm feeling really loved Liv!", matching Liv in volume. 

"You know what I mean, he wants you to hurt like he's hurting". 

"Liv, I don't care. I don't wanna know okay? So just, please, just stop". 

"I just wish you hadn't given up on him", whispered Liv, looking at the ground instead of at Aaron. 

"He gave up on us".

"You gave up on us first". 

He had known how Liv felt for a while, guessed, when she was continually fighting Robert corner. Hearing her say it was too much though. 

"And I'm sorry for that, I hope you know that Liv". She nodded back at him, looking unconvinced. "I'll see you back at the house Liv". 

All the free booze in the world couldn't make him stay any longer. 

When he rounded the corner onto the main road, all plans of heading home quickly dissolved.

Because there was Robert, putting his rebecca look-a-like in the back of a cab. 

It was like the first time he had brought a girl into the pub. All he wanted was to look away, but he couldn't. Hurt to much to take his eyes off him. 

He watched as the girl reached up to kiss him. Watched as Robert responded, albeit with less enthusiasm than the girl. The girl the got into the the taxi, much to Aaron's surprise, without Robert. 

As the taxi drove away, he could see the sigh of relief from the broken man standing on the road. He looked old. Tired. _Sad_. Like all the life was draining out of him. 

Their eyes caught, when Robert looked up, and it shook Aaron to his core, the way Robert could still take his breath away. 

He could feel his heart rate increase with every step his husband, _ex-husband_ , took towards him. 

He could see the scenario play out in his head. How Robert would come to a stop in front of him. How he would take his head in his hands, just like he did the first time they kissed, just like he always did. How he would tell him that he only loved him, no one else, and Aaron would say it back. And then their lips would brush, softly at first, shy. Then as the months of separation proved to much, they would grab hold with everything they had and kiss and kiss and kiss until their lips were swollen and red, tears running down both their faces and bruises of fingerprints forming on their skin. 

But that's not what happened. 

When Robert came to a stop in front of him, all he said was, "not tonight, I don't have the energy to pretend tonight". 

Then he walked to Vics, and disappeared inside. 

Leaving Aaron standing in the cold, having to force himself more than he had in a long time to walk home and leave Robert where he was. 

Aaron refused to cry for Robert anymore. 

Tonight was the exception.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Adam talk about Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not my favourite chapter, in fact it's probably my least fav but I felt there needed to be a something to bridge the gap. It's all about to come to a head soon, and the next part will be how they find their way back to each other.

It's had been four days and Aaron hadn't seen Robert since their all to brief conversation outside the pub. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. About what he had said. He had gone over every possible meaning of the words Robert had spoke that night. 

His conclusion; that Robert couldn't pretend to want the life he was leading now. 

And it troubled Aaron more than he'd like. 

So he put all thoughts of Robert bloody Sugden out of his mind and headed to the scrapyard. 

His distraction tactic lasted until lunch time, when Victoria showed up looking edgy. Aaron could see her talking to Adam outside the cabin, and there was something about her demeanour that set his teeth on edge. 

He knew he was becoming obsessive, and that not every action, of every person in the village related to Robert. But they did to Aaron. And Roberts behaviour a few nights pervious had worried Aaron immensely. 

"What did Vic want?", Aaron asked Adam a few minutes later, when Adam came into the cabin. 

"It's Robert innit? It's always bloody Robert!"

"What's he done now?", he asked, becoming increasingly more alarmed by Adams rattled behaviour. 

"He's disappeared that's what!"

"What do you mean disappeared?"

"Like he's not answering Vics calls or text. I tried to tell her he's probably out with so- sorry! He's probably out. But she's convinced it's more. I think she could be right this time, if I'm perfectly honest".

"Why?", asked Aaron, hoping that Adam couldn't see through is uninterested demeanour and not see that, as always, his mind was consumed with Robert. 

"We told him he could move in. I know I said he couldn't but he's a mess Aaron. I mean he's an arsehole, but he's a mess. And as much as I hate him for what he did, I'm not heartless, and it's really upsetting Victoria. But he's not been back for two days, and she can't get a hold of him and she's really worried. I'm gonna actually kill him this time!"

"Yeah but like you said, he's probably staying with someone", said Aaron breathlessly, he could hear his heart bartering in his ears. 

"He probably is, but that's what worries Vic. He's just going out, getting drunk and picking up anybody in a bar. Who knows where he could be- hey Aaron, where you going?"

He couldn't take anymore. He couldn't listen to how Robert was out sleeping with some random every night. Couldn't listen and imagine somebody else touching him, knowing him like he knew him. He certainly couldn't sit there and imagine that it had all gone wrong and somebody was hurting him. 

So he got in the car, drove way to fast back home to the Mill, and broke down crying the moment he stepped inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so slow, I love everyone of you who are still reading!


End file.
